New Year’s Eve is practically upon us once again. Do you always feel guilty for being lazy and not ‘having fun’ on all the ‘important’ occasions? If so, then instead of cursing yourself or the universe for your loneliness, you can choose to be at peace. Instead of scrolling through the Instagram feeds of your friends, you can scroll through your own life history. Here is a recipe that will make the night one to remember, even if you’re all alone:
Go to a supermarket in the evening and buy yourself your favorite type of booze. I would suggest red wine from Italy. Turn on your table lamp. Place a chair in front of the window. Make sure the chair is comfortable as it is going to be a long, intoxicating evening. Roll up the shades. I would recommend cleaning the windows first. Hide your phone under your quilt, so it doesn’t seduce you with its lustful eyes. Or pretend you don’t even have one. Keep your laptop on your bed but make sure it doesn’t distract you. To spice up the atmosphere, play Leonard Cohen nonstop. Start with “Dance Me to the End of Love.” Once you’ve started drinking, you won’t know what’s more vinous, the song or the wine.
Now the stage is set. Pick up your favorite book, but make sure it’s not a self-help one. The evening is too special to spend it on reading a book that promises to turn your life around in 21 days. Pour yourself the wine. It’s axiomatic that you will smell it for a couple of minutes. Don’t drink immediately. With wine – as with a kiss – you have to let it get into your blood before tasting it. You can start reading now. If a word, a sentence, or a character forces you to look outside the window, don’t refuse. If it’s cloudy, watch the clouds rubbing against each other. If it’s snowing, visualize its softness. Hint: June Jorden, the American poet, describes snow as “nearly as soft as the sleeping nipple of your left breast.” And if the sky is clear, go into a state of Novalunosis (you don’t know what that means? Here it comes: The state of relaxation and wonderment experienced while gazing upon the stars) and imagine being sucked up by sky.
And when your backpain starts interfering with your imagination, go out for a walk. You are a bit drunk now, so be careful! Remember, it’s winter. Wear warm clothes. People will be celebrating, so there’s a good chance of empty streets. Just keep walking. Take random turns. Imagine a big ladder that will take you to the vantage point. Rewind the film of your life. Pause if you want to watch a certain scene twice. Pay attention to the facial expressions of the characters in your life. Observe their smiles: See how much they stretch their mouths while smiling. How it makes their eyes squint. What do they do with their eyebrows?
When you’ve watched the whole movie – fast-forwarding through the boring parts – return to your room at least 15 minutes before the start of the New Year. Turn off the table lamp. Roll down the shades. Take off your shirt and throw it on your desk. If one of the books happens to fall down, don’t pick it up. Even if it’s the one about death. Now, take off your pants and start swirling them in the air. Start dancing naked, wildly. Enter the New Year with a nude, wild dance!
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