Re-re-recount (and counting)

By Bobbie Kirkhart

As the world knows, Donald Trump’s 2016 election to the presidency had healthy assistance from Russian bots that, in spite of their non-human circumstance, knew a great deal about unverified corruption of Hillary Clinton and were generously eager to share that information with certain receptive segments of the American public. During that time, there were verified attempts to hack into 21 states, but we never found out if they were successful as the Trump administration declared the budget wouldn’t allow for an investigation. Some highly suspicious Americans (we call them Democrats) worried aloud that the 2020 election might also be rigged. Fortunately, Trump knew how to tell. During the campaign, when Joe Biden was leading in the polls, he stated that if Biden were announced the winner, we would know the election was rigged. Well, Biden was announced the winner, so there you have it, clear proof of fraud.

Photo credit: “super green ninja ‘with lasers’” by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³ is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0

And if you’re wondering what this image has to do with the election recounts, then…

Being a man who goes by the law, Trump first attempted to rectify this abomination by sending his team of highly skilled attorneys and other sympathizers to work. They filed at least 86 court cases challenging votes for Biden as fraudulent. 85 were denied outright, one was overturned on appeal. Several of the judges who dismissed these cases had been appointed by Trump, proving how treacherous the system had become.

On January 6, 2021, all the many steps to certify the election for Biden were completed, except the last one in which the states report their votes and the vice president accepts them. In close states that Biden won, there had not only been recounts, but often second recounts. All these recounts agreed with the original vote count. This certification is purely ceremonial and comes well after the states have confirmed their results. When Donald Trump asked his vice president, Mike Pence, to use this occasion to reverse the results that were to be reported for Biden and declare that Trump won the election, Pence explained he only had a reporting power. Trump had expected more from their friendship.

When the day came, Trump held a rally for his supporters about a mile from the Capitol where the certification was taking place. He encouraged his supporters to go to the Capitol and express their feelings about the certification. They did. There are two Republican versions of what ensued. One is that the crowd was made up of normal tourists frolicking at their nation’s Capitol. They wore costumes and made entertaining artifacts that demonstrated their good humor. These included the gallows that complimented the playful chant, “Hang Mike Pence.” The Senators played games with them. This site shows Congressman Andrew Clyde, one advocate of the frolicking-tourist theory, helping to bar the door where his colleagues were hiding in an apparent game of hide and seek.

The other Republican interpretation is that the demonstrators were not Trump supporters at all. They were members of ANTIFA, a loosely knit group of liberals who staged this demonstration to make Trump look bad. This view has some credibility, as the demonstrators did, indeed, make Trump look bad.

Congress, after hours hiding in fear, resumed and continued the ceremonial process into the night so that the demonstrators were denied their wish to prevent the certification of Biden’s victory. Some members of Congress are petty that way.

Finally, after all this, Trump adherents have figured out what the problem is: The votes have been counted by experienced, trained, bi-partisan groups rather than loyal Republicans. The state of Arizona was the first to come up with a solution: They got their own auditors. The vote had been counted three times by qualified election professionals, and the tally was officially entered in both state and federal records, which could not legally be changed, but Arizona Republicans figured, “What the hay! We can try one more time.” They were not deterred by the fact that the ballots or machines could not be legally sent to an outside group. Dear Leader had told them that if he didn’t win, the vote was rigged, so they were going to keep trying until they proved it. They hired a Florida group with the impressive name of Cyber Ninjas. Though they had no experience with elections, they did claim to have expertise in ‘ethical hacking’, which is hacking into a system to prove its weaknesses.

To the date of this writing, the Arizona count is much delayed. Cyber Ninjas explain that they are slow because they are extremely careful. They look for problems the experienced auditors may have missed, such as the weight of the paper ballots, water marks or food smears, which are sure signs of fraud. Most especially, they undertake microscopic inspections of each ballot in search of bamboo fragments, which would indicate the paper came from Korea or China. Ordinary auditors didn’t know that.

So, we wait, and wait, and wait for an election result that all will accept. Until then, we’re Biden our time.

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Bobbie Kirkhart is a past president of the Atheist Alliance International and of Atheists United. She is a founder and past vice president of the Secular Coalition for America. She is a frequent contributor to U.S. freethought publications.